John ramps a bike into a pond

I've always wanted to do this from a young age. I can't really explain why. So, today was the day. Sadly, the event proved less emotionally fulfilling and more painful than anticipated (see photos and explanation below). Tami and Mama Stu documented. Gracias. And if anyone is interested in similar ramping pursuits, talk to me first. I have a lot of notes on what not to do.

The video:

Assembling the ramping apparatus. Structural integrity was sketchy, but it held firm in the time of need.

Jump No. 1. I rode the bike all the way into the water. Bad idea. Front tire stopped on impact and I faceplanted the surface HARD. You gotta let go of the bike. It's priority one.

Jump No. 2. Again, I didn't release the bike. Very foolish. I was too scared of landing on it. The end result? Face plant. Again. And HARDER this time. On face impact, I turned my head to lessen the blow. Bad idea. It basically caused a neck buster and all the energy of the rushing water slapped my neck. Suck.

Into the pond on Jump 2. Notice foolishly turned head. If you're gonna stay on the bike you gotta pull up hard on the handle bars. The back tire has to hit water first, people. Anything else is faceplant central. No lie.

Recovering after Jump 2 (the last one at that). I got really dizzy when exiting the water. I nearly passed out. And my vision went all white with spots for a while (presumably because I hit my neck). Kinda frightening for a few moments though. And I won't be ramping again soon. Currently my neck is still swollen, but morale is high. At least I tried, ya know? And I think that's worth an A for effort.

2 Responses to 'John ramps a bike into a pond'

  • Schupack said...'> 1:59 PM

    awesome + ouch. Get well soon, I guess.

  • Chris Gawn said...'> 7:54 AM

    Dude, that looked fantastic!! Any pain is well worth it for such a heroic display of boyhood masculinity! I think my favourite part of the 'vid is the cap flying off your head into the water - brilliant!!!